Hill suggests that you find the underlying reason for the initiative, the directive or the approach with which you disagree. Find out why the person thinks it`s a reasonable proposition. You can say something like, “Sam, I want to understand what we want to do with this initiative. Can you go back and explain the reasons behind this? “or” What are we trying to do here? Get Sam to talk more about what he intends to do and why. Then you can devise a few options to achieve the same goal with a different approach: “If I understand you correctly, try to reach x, y and z. I wonder if there is another way to do that. Maybe we can… ” – It`s just partially true that… – That`s true, but… – I can only agree with reservations. – It`s obvious, but… – It`s not as simple as it sounds. – I agree with you, in principle, but…

It sounds obvious, but… under certain circumstances… Expressing disagreements is always considered honest and sometimes courageous. Of course, even if you follow this advice, sometimes there are no right words and it is not possible to have a constructive discussion. “Sometimes you have to let go and come back to it another time, when you can both have conversation,” Hill says. It is normal to leave and return to the discussion later if you are willing to make an intelligent and thoughtful choice about the words you want to use. In such a situation, you also want to consider the location of the event. “Maybe you can have a more open discussion with someone if it`s an individual interview and not in front of a group,” she says. It`s not a moment, Hill says, but asking permission to talk to the person about what happened: “Mary, can I take a moment to talk to you about something?” Then describe what happened. You can say, “I`m a little confused by what happened and why it happened.

I would like to talk to you about that to see how we can get things done. Use phrases like “I understand that X has arrived…”¬†For Mary to see the situation differently, she cannot agree with her perspective. But don`t wait too long for what happened. Focus on finding a solution by using it with something like, “What can we do about it?” So how do you choose the right words that they can use in a conflict? Of course, each situation is different and what you say depends on the content of what you are discussing, your relationship with each other and the culture of your organization, but these suggestions can help you get started: – I am totally/total/agree with you. The second reason we often say the wrong thing is that our first instincts are usually off. In fact, it is often the words we have with us that put us in so much trouble.